So, if I haven't mentioned already I'm a freshman undergrad studying psychology. I'm a nerd, grades are ridiculously important to me. All A's so far.
However, this semester, as required, I'm taking a History course. I can't stand history!!!!
Point is.. we had our first exam and we got our grades back today. Ready for this?
Nerd got a 7 8. 78!!! 78??? REALLY?????????????? BITE ME!
My gosh, that just ruined my day, I was so disappointed and overwhelmed by the grade. Throughout the day I was just in a "down" mood, even my supervisor noticed. I'm usually bubbly.
So, whatever to make things worse I was supposed to have rehearsal for youth group on Saturday, I need my dad to give me a ride. You would think that in a crappy day the least I can get is a ride home.
Yea...NO! I was stuck taking the bus, that takes forever. I'm from New York City, a bus that takes an hour to get some place, is ....it's plain ol' UNACCEPTABLE.
So, I'm stuck taking the bus. While I wait, I crack like a shell, accidentally, with a friend of mine. I just went on and on, she was nice enough to listen and said some cheesy positive things. She made me smile at least. But, I still felt crappy.
5:17pm: I'm waiting at the bus stop, looking down just thinking. Mind you, the bus stops only when you have direct eye contact with the bus driver. That, didn't happen, my mind was elsewhere.
But, thankfully the driver was nice enough to stop. I'm familiar to him.
I walk in, the usual would be, "Good afternoon, how are you? Can I have a transfer?"
Today, was "Hey." A hey that he probably couldn't even hear.
He responds, "Hola, (he tries to speak Spanish) como estas?" He says it really nice and enthusiastically.
"I'm not happy today." I said to him. And I must confess, I cracked like an egg shell once again.
Who in the world vents with a bus driver!?!?!?
The point is this simple bus driver had ALOT to say. He was very intelligent actually. It got to the point that I said, "Why the heck are you a bus driver?"
He started telling me about his life and how he used to be a musician and what not. Great story, he's been all over the place! I hope to do the same one day. But, that's not the point.
After talking about my horrid day and his life. He asked, "So, how old are you anyway?"
"What? Only eighteen? I thought you were like twenty something."
I said thank you because people never believe me when I tell them my age. I look younger to 99% of the world.
"Why is that?" I added.
And his response really made my day.
He says something like this, "Well, its the way you carry yourself. You don't act like an eighteen year old of this generation. You carry yourself with respect and dignity. When I see you, you bring.. (he thinks..) You bring faith... hope even....."
My eyes opened wide, "Wow, thank you that means a lot to me."
I had also said, "That's God working in my life." But I don't think he heard me say that with traffic noise.
I was really happy though, to know that in some way I marked a difference and I stood out to a simple, bus driver. I mean, do we really think about who we're influencing around us.
This week, I was able to read a bible passage with good friends of mine from school. It was the "You are the salt of the world...You are the light of the world" passage.
And as I sat on the second bus to finally get home, I made the connection. One of the things my friends pointed out was, "Jesus didn't say you will be the light... he said you are.." And I thought to myself, Wow!
Without realizing, I was shining and I stood out to this man. I was different, I am the light...
It was so great to be able to connect the dots, it made me smile. However, I still wasn't very happy. When I finally got home, I got my dog's leash and took him for a run. I just needed to breath and think.
I go to the park, accompanied by my furry friend and sat under the naked winter branches. The sun was setting, it was pretty..
I stopped and prayed out loud..
"God, you say to be thankful for everything. So, thank you even though it hasn't been the best day. And thank you because this situation allowed me to have that talk with the bus driver... What you say, goes, and yes I am light..."
That was incredibly meaningful and great. I'm really joyous to see God working in my life. Even though I'm still not accepting a "C" as an exam grade, I know God is in control of everything...
He's the man.
He is the reason why I shine.