For a while I have been attempting to find a balance in my life, I'm not saying that I have achieved the goal completely but I do feel that I some what have.
Recently I've been struggling with maintaining an equilibrium in relationships. All types, family members, friends, professors and yes, with the opposite sex as well.
How can you achieve to keep everything at a certain level. ---Lets think about what holds a relationship together. Trust, communication, respect, listening, caring and I personally would add, giving. Everytime you or I or we decide to begin a relationship we have to understand that we have to give. Give what you want to recieve. I will give respect, support, care, love and essentially time. Time is everything.
Not so long ago, I was at a conference in Texas for college students looking for God, specifically for Latinos. It was simply amazing. There was a seminar that was precisely about relationships. And one of the speakers highlighted the importance of being the PERSON YOU WANT. If I think about all the traits that I want in a partner, I should make a self evaluation and see if I have those traits. She said, "don't expect to change a person, enter a relationship thinking how will it change you" (for the better of course).
And those words have impacted me and so I try to be better. But what happens when you feel like your giving alot of yourself and the other person doesn't seem to respond equally?
This is where my concerns and my struggle began. Is my effort pointless?
By further questioning and self reflection, I decided to speak. Yes, expression did the work.
I exhort and advise others to just speak, write...even text to the other person, which is not necessarily limited to romantic relationship, this can apply to co workers and best friends.
Sometimes we simply have questions or feel the desire to change something.
We let these thoughts go about our minds and we try to ignore them, or just acccept the situation. What we continously ignore is the possibility that the other person can be feeling the same way. (In psychology we'd probrably call it the false uniqueness effect this would usually refer to abilities, in this context it'd be ideas or thoughts.) With out conveying our ideas nothing will be solved. Let's express ourselves and find balance in our relationships.
I can't gaurantee that it will always work, but it has for me and I am glad to say that my mind is at ease. Today I have been enlightened, reaching temporary yin and yang, equilibrium that is.